No offense to you, but . . .

What a great lead in/free pass to say what sometimes just needs to be said.  Wasn't it around 5th grade when I started (over)using this phrase?  Why, yes I do believe it was.  How can I be so sure?  Because I currently hear it all day long and yes, we do indeed have a 5th grader in the house.

"No offense to you, Mom, but Gavin is screaming and I think he may need to eat." Yes Nathan, I do hear the screaming. He does need to eat, but he will have to wait until we get back home - I know I'm awesome and all, but that's not something I can do while I'm driving.

"No offense to you, but we were sitting here waiting a long time." Yes Nathan, I realize that, and I'm sorry. Tell your brother to quit running around naked right when I have to leave.

"No offense to you, but it smells a little funny in here." Yes Nathan, I can smell it. I've been here all day, its 1 part sink full of dirty dishes and 3 parts wet dog.

And today's winner: "No offense to you, Mom, but you kind of have a frowny face on."

Wow. Really? A frowny face? So even though I was painfully aware that my baby was screaming in the car while arriving late for school pick up, and bringing them home to a smelly house, I was not aware (although also not entirely surprised) that I had on a frowny face. But, thanks for pointing it all out for me anyway, and also for securing the record for most "no offense" comments in the shortest amount of time. I think you might have even beat your old mom back in her days of not offending.

But you know, I don't blame him.  Nathan is a lot like me and I remember feeling pretty adult always saying no offense.  I mean, I thought it was a very mature and fairly safe way to point out the obvious about certain things that may not otherwise be well received.  I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings so it quickly became my conversation staple and well, kind of a habit.  But, like all the other phases I went through, I outgrew it fairly quickly, and so will he.  In fact, I don't think I've said no offense to anyone since my hair was in a side pony complete with neon scrunchies.  It was useful while it lasted, and now I get to sit back and laugh hearing my kids say the same things I did growing up while hearing myself say the same things my mom did growing up.  Weird, isn't it? 

Oh, and no offense Nathan, but the dishes are your job, and it might smell a little less funny in here if you'd get them done and quit leaving them in the sink for days. 

Just sayin' . . . ;-)